by Forgotten Dad in Washington
First and foremost, I am a survivor. How has this disease affected my life? I have had difficult times with relationships. I keep everyone at a distance. Even those who I know I can trust. Trust is a big issue. I can count the number of people I trust on one hand. And even with those people there are doubts of trust.
by Deborah in California
From childhood, I vividly remember sitting on top of my shoes inside of the closet, as I hid away and cried. I would cry for hours, if no one caught me and yelled at me to stop. Sadness was my existence; I did not have the words to articulate my experience. Almost every day, I went through an inexplicable pain; not only did I suffer with depression, but also I was being sexually abused, and I did not have the words to voice my experience. Living in a small, rural town during the 70's meant that family secrets prevailed. A book about molestation did not exist in the town library.
by Renee in Pennsylvania
My search for the meaning of life began at the age of 14 when drugs and alcohol became a way of life for me to cope with the years of abuse and the nightmarish memories of my past. I became a high school drop-out and ran away from home, looking for love in all the wrong places. I had been consumed body, soul and spirit by overexposure to alcohol, drugs and sexual abuse by the time I was 17.
by Jamie in Tennessee
I'm not sure when it all started, but I think I've always dealt with depression. I just didn't always understand it. The first memory I have of it was when I was six and my grandfather died. I remember trying to hide my feelings because I thought I felt different than everyone else. I wouldn't even cry. Everyone thought I was too young for it to bother me, so I didn't let them know it did. I was always socially withdrawn because we moved around a lot, so I didn't have any friends except my sisters and brother. When I was seven, my oldest sister (who is 10 years older than me) started to molest me.
by Louise in Nevada
I was in high school when I first remember thinking that killing myself would solve my problems. Back then, I had never heard of depression or even knew mental illness was anything other than what was shown in the movies.
by Jacki in New Jersey
I have had mental illness starting at age 14. My illness has disrupted my life and the lives of those around me. At any given time, I have been very disruptive to myself. At the young at of 15, I was not the child you wanted to be sitting in your child's math class.
by Skittlz in Maryland
I was 16 years old was when my depression really started to kick in. My grandfather had passed away four days after Christmas in 2004, and it really hit me hard. I locked myself in my room and did not want to come out. I was terrified that all of my friends in school were after me because it seemed like they just did nothing but talk about me behind my back. Two weeks after my grandfather's death, I slit my wrists trying to kill myself. I didn't tell anybody because I figured everyone would be happier without me being around. I tried slitting my throat so I would die faster, I tried popping a whole bunch of pills to die faster, but nothing seemed to work.
by Bi-polar Momma in Kentucky
First of all, I have struggled with more than one mental illness. I am Bipolar 1, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Substance Abuse, Post-Partum Depression, and Self Injury. I have been hospitalized recently for all of these things. I was diagnosed a few years ago for most of those mental illnesses and haven't been medicated up until now.
by Stacy in New York
I am 22 years old. I have been fighting this battle successfully since I was 14. I have attempted to quit many times. I believe God has been trying to tell me something by keeping me here. I fight against the depression every day and win. Thank God for big miracles. It isn't easy. I try to eat 3 to 4 balanced meals a day. I try to sleep regularly. It is hard. Just when life is tough enough, something else comes along to test my abilities to stay sane.
by Laura in Florida
My Name is Laura, and I have had this awful disorder since I was a young child. At the time, my family had no idea what was wrong with me, I was just different. I did not have many friends and wanted to be by myself all the time. As I got older, I was in and out of facilities in Central Florida. They treated me like a dog, and that is the complete truth. I did not realize how they hurt you instead of helping you. I lost almost 20 years of my life and did not really realizing what was going on around me.
