by Feeling Worthless in Alabama
My life started getting affected by panic disorder and fear when I was in the fourth grade. Bullies from school have ruined my life, both at school and at home,I have severe depression, panic disorder, fear, phobias, behavorial issues and cannot cope hardly at all. All my relationships had failed and all my jobs never worked out well because of my problems.
by Tony in California
My name is Anthony, and I was injured while serving in the Gulf of Oman. I served with VFA-97, on board the USS Kitty Hawk CV-63. The reason for this message is very complex, but I will try to summarize. You see, I was discharged from the Navy back in 1995 with a very small severance pay of $5000. Before deployment I met a young lady close to my base. We fell madly in love and couldn't get enough of each other. That was back in 1993. We got married and started our family.
by Andrew in Michigan
I have been affected by mental illness as far back as I can remember. As a child I was so anxious about starting kindergarten, I stayed in pre-school one more year before I started real school. For the rest of my time in school I remember feeling more anxious about new things and situations than my friends, and every so often I'd get depressed and not want to interact with others.
by Gail in Florida
Thinking in retrospect, I can recall being a shy, nervous little girl. At an early age, I began pulling my own eyelashes out to relieve the pain. Shortly after my 13th birthday, my father took his own life. I was told to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and to get over it. I received absolutely NO counseling or help. We were poor and in debt. I don't blame my mother. She was suffering in her own hell from his action. The rest of my teenage years were spent running wild. I would drink, smoke cigarettes, and party. I think it was a way to ease the heartache. Even my own grandmother asked me, "What can I do to make you happy? Nothing makes you happy anymore." I suppose she saw what I couldn't.
by Kimberly in Florida
I was 8 years old when I had my first panic attack. I was so scared and thought that I was going to die. My mom reassured me that everyone had them. None of my friends were having panic attics nor were they being mentally and physically abused by their dads. As I got older, I became more overwhelmed. I think the only reason I kept it together was because I was so afraid of my dad.
by Karen in Missouri
This month marks the one year anniversary of my nervous breakdown. While the journey is certainly not over, I thought this would be a good time to send a message about it. There are several reasons for the message - one is to make one more attempt to convince the jerks that don't believe in mental diseases that IT IS REAL. Another is for awareness. Perhaps I will find the words to describe things that other sufferers like me have been trying to find all along. Perhaps, even if just for a moment, I will help someone else feel like they are not alone. At any rate, a year ago at this time I had hit rock bottom.
by Edna in Tennessee
My name is Edna. I am a 47-year old single mother. My two children are grown, but have lived a life of confusion with my illnesses. I was a happy child, with a good life. However, in my teen years I started having bouts of sadness, depression, anxiety, and loneliness...even though I had a large family and many friends.
by Anna in Minnesota
Hi my name is Anna. I have struggled with clinical depression for about a good 20 years now. It seems to be getting worse. I don't like being around people at all. I am so edgy just thinking about it, but when I am at work I just fall into the pattern of work and I am fine.
by Michelle in Delaware
I suffer from Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia. I've dealt with anxiety all my life. I am 37 years old now with two children and two years ago I was diagnosed. During the time of my disorder, I was working full-time in a school. I suffered a panic attack at work and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Not one person told me I was having a panic attack. I literally thought I was going to die.
by Rayelle in Minnesota
My mental illness has affected my life since I was around five years old. I grew up in a very violent and abusive home in Minnesota, as have a lot of my mentally ill friends. I have five siblings who grew up there with me and we all suffered the wrath of alcoholic parents who used us as punching bags. I was beaten regularly and even have memories of a sibling that was murdered in our kitchen, but no one ever talks about it or acknowledges it even happened. That caused a lot of anger and rage towards most of my direct family members, and I have cut most of them completely out of my life. That, I believe, was the healthiest thing I have ever done.
