by Stephanie in Maine
I suffer from a variety of things. The first is being brought up in a household totally unaware of 'Mental Illness' and being 'disciplined' as my father was disciplined. My grandmother on my dad's side was the first person I believed to have a problem. My father has always had a very 'hard' way of living and was always the very first to tell us, 'stop crying' if we were being punished.
by Neecee in Alabama
My mother was a very attractive woman at one time-- she almost resembled a model. Something was wrong with her thinking; it drove her and whoever came in contact with her away. I can remember when I was eleven years old and my mother accused me of going with her boyfriend and calling me names. When I was thirteen, my mother would tell us lies all the time. She would make up these bizarre stories about these children to keep us in line. It took me years to shake the majority of this thinking.
by Karen in Wisconsin
I am 30 years old, married, with one son. We are a happy family, but I still struggle from time to time with mental illness. It's something that runs in my family - my grandmother was one of the most severe cases, and had multiple suicide attempts; my grandfather committed suicide when he was 82.
by Gail in Florida
Thinking in retrospect, I can recall being a shy, nervous little girl. At an early age, I began pulling my own eyelashes out to relieve the pain. Shortly after my 13th birthday, my father took his own life. I was told to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and to get over it. I received absolutely NO counseling or help. We were poor and in debt. I don't blame my mother. She was suffering in her own hell from his action. The rest of my teenage years were spent running wild. I would drink, smoke cigarettes, and party. I think it was a way to ease the heartache. Even my own grandmother asked me, "What can I do to make you happy? Nothing makes you happy anymore." I suppose she saw what I couldn't.
by Kimberly in Florida
I was 8 years old when I had my first panic attack. I was so scared and thought that I was going to die. My mom reassured me that everyone had them. None of my friends were having panic attics nor were they being mentally and physically abused by their dads. As I got older, I became more overwhelmed. I think the only reason I kept it together was because I was so afraid of my dad.
by Ken in Ohio
I was first diagnosed with depression in my early 30's, although I suspect it has been bubbling just below the surface of my life since day one. To say it has had a negative effect on my life is a gross understatement. My father was an alcoholic who killed himself when I was just three years old. My mother died of lung cancer when I was thirteen. My inability to think clearly or rationally on any given day has caused me to simply walk away from a number of jobs as well as relationships with those around me. A mix of financial problems and an unexplained fear of the world in general most often keep me from going out and engaging in new relationships. Right now I am an army of one and I am losing the war. I feel like there is nowhere to turn.
by Morgan in Illinois
As far back as I can remember, mental illness has affected my life. My diagnosis, like many, is one of many disorders. I can remember the fights my parents had because my father, who suffered from bi-polar disorder, refused to seek help but self-medicated with drugs, alcohol, and countless women. My mother overcompensated by keeping an immaculate home and starving herself to meet the unattainable expectations of my father...always with a smile on her face. Even at 4-years old, I felt like there was something I should be doing differently, that it was my job to fix everything, and mostly, that it was all my fault in the first place.
by Jamie in Tennessee
I'm not sure when it all started, but I think I've always dealt with depression. I just didn't always understand it. The first memory I have of it was when I was six and my grandfather died. I remember trying to hide my feelings because I thought I felt different than everyone else. I wouldn't even cry. Everyone thought I was too young for it to bother me, so I didn't let them know it did. I was always socially withdrawn because we moved around a lot, so I didn't have any friends except my sisters and brother. When I was seven, my oldest sister (who is 10 years older than me) started to molest me.
by Rayelle in Minnesota
My mental illness has affected my life since I was around five years old. I grew up in a very violent and abusive home in Minnesota, as have a lot of my mentally ill friends. I have five siblings who grew up there with me and we all suffered the wrath of alcoholic parents who used us as punching bags. I was beaten regularly and even have memories of a sibling that was murdered in our kitchen, but no one ever talks about it or acknowledges it even happened. That caused a lot of anger and rage towards most of my direct family members, and I have cut most of them completely out of my life. That, I believe, was the healthiest thing I have ever done.
by Kathleen in Florida
I was molested sexually by my father, who murdered my mother when I was four and my brother was five. Yes, we witnessed it, but I just remembered all the details in the past two years. The molestation continued all my life. I was forced to choose between my father or a physically abusive boy friend at the age of 13.
