by Andrew in Michigan
I have been affected by mental illness as far back as I can remember. As a child I was so anxious about starting kindergarten, I stayed in pre-school one more year before I started real school. For the rest of my time in school I remember feeling more anxious about new things and situations than my friends, and every so often I'd get depressed and not want to interact with others.
by Cathrine in Michigan
My name is Cathrine. My birth was traumatic and a root cause of my mental and physical conditions. I suffer from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Depression, ADD, Anxiety and panic disorders. Some of my mental problems I have suffered from all my life and some have gotten worse and developed due to my hypothyroidism and my environment.
by Gail in Florida
Thinking in retrospect, I can recall being a shy, nervous little girl. At an early age, I began pulling my own eyelashes out to relieve the pain. Shortly after my 13th birthday, my father took his own life. I was told to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and to get over it. I received absolutely NO counseling or help. We were poor and in debt. I don't blame my mother. She was suffering in her own hell from his action. The rest of my teenage years were spent running wild. I would drink, smoke cigarettes, and party. I think it was a way to ease the heartache. Even my own grandmother asked me, "What can I do to make you happy? Nothing makes you happy anymore." I suppose she saw what I couldn't.
by Deborah in California
From childhood, I vividly remember sitting on top of my shoes inside of the closet, as I hid away and cried. I would cry for hours, if no one caught me and yelled at me to stop. Sadness was my existence; I did not have the words to articulate my experience. Almost every day, I went through an inexplicable pain; not only did I suffer with depression, but also I was being sexually abused, and I did not have the words to voice my experience. Living in a small, rural town during the 70's meant that family secrets prevailed. A book about molestation did not exist in the town library.
by Karen in Missouri
This month marks the one year anniversary of my nervous breakdown. While the journey is certainly not over, I thought this would be a good time to send a message about it. There are several reasons for the message - one is to make one more attempt to convince the jerks that don't believe in mental diseases that IT IS REAL. Another is for awareness. Perhaps I will find the words to describe things that other sufferers like me have been trying to find all along. Perhaps, even if just for a moment, I will help someone else feel like they are not alone. At any rate, a year ago at this time I had hit rock bottom.
by Edna in Tennessee
My name is Edna. I am a 47-year old single mother. My two children are grown, but have lived a life of confusion with my illnesses. I was a happy child, with a good life. However, in my teen years I started having bouts of sadness, depression, anxiety, and loneliness...even though I had a large family and many friends.
by Jamie in Tennessee
I'm not sure when it all started, but I think I've always dealt with depression. I just didn't always understand it. The first memory I have of it was when I was six and my grandfather died. I remember trying to hide my feelings because I thought I felt different than everyone else. I wouldn't even cry. Everyone thought I was too young for it to bother me, so I didn't let them know it did. I was always socially withdrawn because we moved around a lot, so I didn't have any friends except my sisters and brother. When I was seven, my oldest sister (who is 10 years older than me) started to molest me.
by Amy in Kentucky
I was diagnosed with severe depression at the age of 17. I can remember the day I was admitted into the hospital as if it were yesterday. It was 1992 and in hindsight it had been a downward spiral for me for a very long time! My mother at the time was married to my stepfather who had emotionally, and at times, physically abused me. My mother was mostly absent at home as she was pursuing her master's degree at night and worked full time during the day.
by Rayelle in Minnesota
My mental illness has affected my life since I was around five years old. I grew up in a very violent and abusive home in Minnesota, as have a lot of my mentally ill friends. I have five siblings who grew up there with me and we all suffered the wrath of alcoholic parents who used us as punching bags. I was beaten regularly and even have memories of a sibling that was murdered in our kitchen, but no one ever talks about it or acknowledges it even happened. That caused a lot of anger and rage towards most of my direct family members, and I have cut most of them completely out of my life. That, I believe, was the healthiest thing I have ever done.
by Louise in Nevada
I was in high school when I first remember thinking that killing myself would solve my problems. Back then, I had never heard of depression or even knew mental illness was anything other than what was shown in the movies.
