by Susie in Wyoming
I was born and raised in Southern Illinois, right outside of St. Louis. I really can't tell you when I first noticed my depression/Bi-polar illness. But from high school, which was 1972 and on, I have abused alcohol and drugs and overdosed several times which required hospitalization.
by Life Ministries in Wisconsin
My whole life I have been on some sort of medication. At the age of 14, I was told I was a manic depressive. The medicine my parents and doctor put me on turned my life upside down. I started drinking, having sex and then running away. I was 13 and just moved from Great Lakes, Il to Camp Lejeune, NC. My dad was in the Navy.
by Renee in Pennsylvania
My search for the meaning of life began at the age of 14 when drugs and alcohol became a way of life for me to cope with the years of abuse and the nightmarish memories of my past. I became a high school drop-out and ran away from home, looking for love in all the wrong places. I had been consumed body, soul and spirit by overexposure to alcohol, drugs and sexual abuse by the time I was 17.
by Jamie in Tennessee
I'm not sure when it all started, but I think I've always dealt with depression. I just didn't always understand it. The first memory I have of it was when I was six and my grandfather died. I remember trying to hide my feelings because I thought I felt different than everyone else. I wouldn't even cry. Everyone thought I was too young for it to bother me, so I didn't let them know it did. I was always socially withdrawn because we moved around a lot, so I didn't have any friends except my sisters and brother. When I was seven, my oldest sister (who is 10 years older than me) started to molest me.
by Jo Anne in Arizona
I can remember being a toddler and thinking that the rest of the people in the world were somehow very different from me. I did not understand why I felt so sad to be here and everyone else seemed to know what to do and enjoyed their lives. I could excel in school and be the best at various sports or activities, but even so, I was not happy. I wanted more and did more than most.
by Jan in Florida
In high school, drawing the window shades and listening to Rachmaninoff's "Isle of the Dead" on occasion could have been the beginning of depression, or just teen angst.
In my 30s, I was a daily drinker as were most of my friends, and I was trying various self-help programs to feel better. Apparently my use of alcohol was an attempt to self-medicate the mood swings, as many psychiatrists informed me, though I didn't drink while depressed only when manic. Then alcohol lost its ability to stop me from being out of control. It's my personal opinion that underneath every alcoholic there is a mental illness.
by Shannon in New York
I have been struggling with mental illness since I was a child. At the age of seven, my mother and father separated. I started pulling chunks of hair out of my head. I would wake up with a pillow filled with hair or the way I saw it, shame. Shame has been my biggest M/O for relapse or suicidal thoughts.
My mother and father took me to a dermatologist where they diagnosed me with alopecia arietta. I lied and said the hair fell out. I held on to that secret until years later.
by Joan in Wisconsin
Early in my childhood, I was sexually abused and threatened to stay quiet. I have often wondered if those events had not occurred would I have had a normal life, even though mental illness is prevalent in my maternal gene pool. As my young life progressed, secrets came out and people were hurt.
by Jenn in Pennsylvania
I was voted the funniest girl out of my graduating class in 2006, but what my class did not know, what no one knew, was that I was not okay. Throughout my life I continuously put on a mask of indifference; I never felt anything and I never would think about who I was or who I was becoming. Instead of understanding such essentials, I made jokes and pointed fun at those who did. I laughed on the outside about people who had drive or who had a purpose. I just wanted to party and forget about life.
by Paula in Pennsylvania
My diagnosis is major recurrent depression with a personality disorder. I should have been in therapy as a child, but only started in my late 20s. I am in my late 50s now.
