by Bi-polar Momma in Kentucky
First of all, I have struggled with more than one mental illness. I am Bipolar 1, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Substance Abuse, Post-Partum Depression, and Self Injury. I have been hospitalized recently for all of these things. I was diagnosed a few years ago for most of those mental illnesses and haven't been medicated up until now.
I am a 24-year-old mother of three wonderful children but at the same time they can trigger a manic episode. My oldest son has ADHD and can be hard to deal with at times; I know I have a challenge there. In the hospital, I was unfriendly and scared the first few days. I wouldn't talk to anyone, and I wouldn't attend group therapy sessions. After a few days, I was a little more social but was suffering from anxiety attacks.
I do not have insurance and it has been very hard for me to receive treatment. I am now receiving my medications for free, and I have a therapist but I am not fond of her; I can't get another one because I have no health coverage. I don't have a psychiatrist at all, which is making it hard for me because my medications are not working.
I have been taking them for seven weeks now and still haven't seen any improvement. I am very manic and that is hard to deal with. My husband is trying to be understanding, but it is hard for him. In the five years we have been together, I experienced the worst manic episode I have had. I was hurting myself by cutting my arms and other things. I thought about suicide.
My daughter was crying a lot the day I was hospitalized, and I couldn't get her to stop. I had to lie her down and get my mom because I thought about shaking her. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. I was only 16.
I have had a hard time keeping jobs, and I am financially in trouble; my medical bills are only piling up. I am a high school graduate and have no other schooling. I want to go back to school but when you are broke you can't do that, and I don't qualify for any grants of any kind.
Right now my life is a mess, I am struggling with this everyday, with meds that aren't working, it is hard to do and it makes it hard to take care of the things that need to be done I haven't found too many resources. I just hope things start looking up.